A new year has just started and with that comes the possibility of setting New Year’s resolutions. In most cases, however, after several days or weeks trying, we usually give up on everything we’ve set up and go back to “normal”.
Did you know that only a small group of people is good at bringing their New Year’s resolutions to an end? Who are they?
And how do the rest of us, establish appropriate habits in our lives and, above all, really follow them?
The year 2020
I wish a nice day to all my dear readers in the New Year!
This year I got a really nice New Year’s wish from one unnamed friend. It was something like this:
“Now there are enough Christmas and New Year wishes. Something like happiness, success, and satisfaction… I wish you: beautiful shoes, 5 kg less, firm breasts, diamonds, wrinkles from laughter, wellness weekend, perfect sun-tan and white teeth, cool jeans and purses. The villa on the island beach and incredibly good sex. Half working time for triple pay and a win in the lottery. Happy New Year 2020!“
Finally, someone got it right! 😉
However, I believe that even if none of us won the jackpot, 2020 will be really worth it. Perhaps the experts are talking about the impending financial crisis, but I am filled with enthusiasm. After all, they’ve been talking about the upcoming crisis since 2010.
But I believe that “As you sow, so shall you reap.”
So let yourself be inspired at least in part by my enthusiasm and say that you will make this year really wonderful!
As you know, the New Year is a time when most people try to start again and better. They enthusiastically engage in exercise and new habits, but in most cases this effort ends after one or two months.
Lots of articles will give you tips like:
- do not set too big goals for which you do not have enough strong will power
- do not change your diet, but your lifestyle
- make small gradual changes
- reward yourself for small achievements
- do not wait for anything and start immediately
These tips are great, but for most of us, they don’t work much. At least not permanently.
4 tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
Coincidentally, in the pre-Christmas period, I accidentally discovered a podcast that I listened to a year ago. So I listened to the podcast again – it was an interview with a writer Gretchen Rubin about how people create new habits.
So I thought I’d share her theory with you, because at least she opened my eyes a lot. Maybe thanks to her advice, many of you can keep the New Year’s resolution a little longer than just a few weeks. 🙂
Gretchen divides people into 4 categories – Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel.
Upholder can adhere to both the new habits and demands that others place on him, as well as those he has set himself. So Upholder fulfills everything.
Obliger easily meets the demands of others, but he has trouble following what he sets himself. Obliger needs to be committed to someone.
Questioner, on the other hand, does not like to do what others tell him until he decides that it makes sense to him. But there is no problem in keeping to what he has set forth. Therefore, before accepting the demands of others, he needs to analyze it and ask why he should do it.
For the rebel, he not only does not want to do what others expect from him but not even what he chooses. 🙂
The Obliger and Questioner groups are the largest, most people fall into either of these two categories. The much smaller group are Upholder and the smallest group are Rebel.
The Four Tendencies book
If you would like to learn more about the theory, I recommend the book The Four Tendencies, in which the author describes in detail each type. It describes how each of them behaves in relationships, at work, and in other areas of life, and how to get along with them. 🙂
New Year’s resolutions
And now back to those New Year’s resolutions. Only Upholders are good at setting his New Year’s resolutions and fulfilling them. That’s because Upholders love to start making changes at the beginning of the year.
The Questioners are good at keeping their own resolutions, but they are not eager to wait for their resolutions for January 1. The questioner does not care if it is the beginning of the year or half of March. They set new resolutions when they want to.
The podcast really addressed me. I have been struggling to create new habits for a long time, but I never thought I was a Rebel. But the more I read the description, the more I could recognize myself.
After many “aha” moments, I realized what the right tactics are for me, thanks to which I can finally create functional habits from the New Year (or at any other time).
Take a quiz
If you want to take a quiz and see which group you belong to, you can use the official quiz of the author.
Once you know which group you belong to, you can find out a lot about yourself. And maybe you will surprise yourself as I did.
In the following articles we will discuss all four groups and I will give you tips on what tactics are best for each group. So if you’re looking for changes and new habits that really work for you, these articles are right for you.
What is great, you can use it not only for yourself but also to better understand your children, partners or parents.
Perhaps you will recognize them in a description of some type and find that you are using completely wrong procedures to deal with them and to ask for something. You have to treat each group differently if you want them to fulfill your expectations. 😉
But about that next time. And we start with the largest group, the people who belong to the Obligers.
I wish everyone a wonderful beginning of the year 2020 and I look forward to how much we can together turn our lives for the better this year.