Do you also have a problem to make yourself do what you want sometimes? Actually not only occasionally, but basically all the time? How to do it? How to make yourself do anything you want? In this article, you will learn 4 proven ways even if nothing worked so far.
Welcome to the last article of the mini-series, where we address how to properly set and stick to your New Year’s resolutions, create new habits and make yourselves do the things that matter to you. In the previous articles, you could read that people are divided into 4 groups and each group strives with different tactics.
As the name suggests, the Rebels have great difficulty keeping their resolutions or forcing themselves to achieve their goals.
If you are not sure whether you belong to this group, take an original test by the author who writes about all the groups in her book The Four Tendencies.
So how to make yourself do anything as a Rebel? Let’s dive into it.
What is Rebel like?
For Rebels is difficult to fulfill both their internal and external expectations.
As they wake up in the morning, they do not ask what needs to be done today or what is on their schedule, but simply: “What do I WANT to do today?“
They only do what they want to do, and only when they want and how they want it.
They don’t like tasks, schedules, routines, rules, or deadlines.
The most important values for them are freedom, the possibility of making a choice and self-expression. If you try to force a Rebel to do what you want, his only reaction will be defiance.
Rebel loves challenges of all kinds, be it a challenging deadline, a friendly contest, or proving to others that they are wrong.
They like to control both situations and other people. They do not like to follow the rules, they create their own.
As a result, they can bring new approaches and solve situations in an original way. Rebels can be great innovators and visionaries. They think out of the box and are not afraid to push (or cross :-)) the limits.
What are the weaknesses of Rebels?
Even though the Rebels have a lot of qualities, it is a little harder to get along with them. Sometimes they don’t do what you want them to, simply BECAUSE you want them. Even though they would have done it if you had not asked them to.
But Rebels don’t do it to spite people. Rather, they just don’t want anyone to tell them what to do. They want to do everything in their own way. They feel that if they accept the conditions of others, they give up their own freedom and strength, and that is something they cannot accept.
Therefore it is also difficult to ask them a favor. If the favor is not related to their identity (more on that below), they are most likely not to do the favor. And what may be particularly outrageous for other groups, Rebels usually have no good reason why they don’t want to do it.
Their nature can often be a burden to themselves because they “unnecessarily” complicate some situations and relationships. Sometimes they are also aware that it would be advantageous for them to do what others want, but they simply cannot accept other people’s rules.
It is a matter of self-preservation for them. Imagine someone wanting you to put your hand in boiling water. This is what Rebels experience every time someone wants something from them.
They can’t do even what they want
The most frustrating thing for the Rebels is that they themselves are not able to force themselves to do the things they care about. They enroll in an exercise lesson / arrange a coffee with a friend or a business meeting. But as the hour of departure approaches, they begin to feel strong resistance. They don’t want to go anywhere! That’s right, they resist even their own schedule, they want to follow.
Are you wondering how you can force yourself to do whatever matters to you? Even if you struggle with this strong resistance? It is possible, but you need to know the right tactics.
4 ways a Rebel can do anything
The good news is that there are some tactics for Rebels, though it’s a little more difficult with him.
Tactics for Rebel
In her book Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin offers 21 tactics that allow us to cultivate new habits and learn how to make yourself to do anything you want.
Each person is different and strive with different tactics. Rebels usually struggle using the tactics that work for others – the strategy of responsibility, schedules, goal planning, etc.
Gretchen, however, discovered four tactics with which even the Rebels succeed in meeting their goals.
1. Strategy of Identity
The most effective strategy for the Rebels ever. For Rebels, their identity is particularly important. Who am I and what do I believe in? This is what Rebels never want to betray. If it is part of Rebel’s identity that he is a “good person”, he may be willing to do you a favor, even though he is Rebel.
Rebel can use this strategy to create a new habit or give up the old one.
Imagine that you want to reduce alcohol and start walking regularly. If you see yourself as someone who is social and fun, it can be hard for you to reduce alcohol consumption and partying.
You must first change your identity. Redefine the reason why are you social and fun to be around. It’s not because you drink a lot of alcohol, but maybe because you organize amazing events or tell many jokes. Part of new identity might be that you respect your own body and want to be in good shape. And that’s why you start running and I enjoy it.
2. Strategy of Convenience
In general, people tend to stick to those tasks and habits that are more convenient.
It is proven that people eat much less chocolate if they place it in the back of the cupboard, and moreover, they only allow themselves to take one square at a time. And how much sweet would you have eaten if you hadn’t bought it in stock, but had to go to the store every time? It is also proven that people eat less food when they eat it with chopsticks instead of a knife and a fork.
If you have difficulty keeping healthy snacks, prepare them in advance or have ingredients ready to prepare a healthy snack within two minutes. Otherwise, you will always reach for the fastest, which usually means an unhealthy, option.
Can’t you make yourself go to practice in the evening? Because once you get home from work you are too tired to leave the house again? Go workout right after work! Ideally, find a fitness or studio on the way home.
3. Strategy of Clarity
It often happens that we want to do something on the one hand and not on the other. Perhaps such a diet. Yes, we want to be thin, but at the same time, we don’t want to renounce pizza and ice cream.
Sometimes we want two things that are contradictory. E.g. devote maximum time to family while devoting maximum time to work.
It is especially beneficial for Rebel to be clear about what he wants and why he wants it. If you realize this, your goal will be easier to follow.
Now you know how to make yourself do what you want. And when it comes to clarity, you have to be clear on two things: priorities and activities.
Priorities and Activities
Being clear about my priorities determines what decisions I make. Suppose I want to lose 10 pounds, but I also want to eat pizza every night. I have to decide what is most important to me in this life period.
The second step is to be clear about the activities. That will help me be prepared and know how to behave. If I know that every night I come home and I am hungry, where there is nothing to eat and I end up just ordering pizza, it is necessary to clarify in advance how I will behave.
Will I buy food in advance and put it in the freezer? Or will I not go hungry home? Will I stop by the restaurant and have a salad? If I keep on a diet, how do I behave if someone invites me to dinner? If I go to the cinema, how do I act when a friend asks me if I want popcorn?
The prepared person will not be taken aback by these situations and is more likely to make a decision to support his or her resolution or goal.
4. Strategy of Other People
Rebel always tends to do the opposite of what others want. Also, when forming new habits, he tends to choose one that is unusual at least. Running barefoot, practicing late at night, crazy forms of yoga. Once something becomes mainstream, the Rebel loses his interest.
If you want to make yourself to start a new habit, take advantage of liking unusual, shocking things and showing others that you are right. Someone says you can’t lose weight or stop smoking? You’ll show him! 😉
I know a story of a Rebel who stopped eating sweets and industrially processed foods. She realized that large food conglomerates are making people eat it, so they would earn money, even when it’s really unhealthy. So she started to eat healthily. 🙂
We have come to the end of this mini-series. I hope you found a lot of useful tips in it. Hopefully, now even you Rebels know, how to make yourself do anything they want. And don’t forget to share which tactics are most effective for you.
Summary: 4 ways to force yourself to do anything
- Change your identity
- Make it more or less convenient
- Clarify why you do it and how will you do it
- Do not do it by others, but by yourself