On the one hand, each of us longs for a better life or at least some changes. On the other hand, we realize that such changes would mean a certain amount of work and effort that we often want to do. So how to overcome excuses we give to ourselves and how to be a better person?
It is comfortable to stick to the old way of thinking and living, and to all the beliefs we have developed throughout our lives.
To change something would be to step out of the comfort zone and it can be pretty uncomfortable. So, in the end, we give up our efforts and continue as we have been used to.
Furthermore, to not feel so bad about giving up, we rationalize our weakness with one of the following excuses.
1. I don’t have time for this
It’s easy, we all have 24 hours in one day, 7 days in one week.
There are no people who have more time and less time. There are only people who can use their time better and worse.
There are people who are aware of their priorities. They have certain goals or a vision that they want to achieve. Their desire motivates them so much that they are willing to give up temporary comfort and work hard.
If you are not willing to take the time to devote yourself to your development, then you may not understand its meaning for your life.
It is more comfortable and fun for each of us to enjoy a movie or have a drink with friends, but a successful person understands how to be really better. He knows that spending all his time with fun does not take him anywhere in his life. He will enjoy the fun once he has achieved his dreams, and then he will enjoy it with all their finery.
2. I don’t need it
Or at least not so much. “I am actually quite pleased with myself,” we applaud ourselves.
Answer honestly – is your life really all you ever wanted? Don’t you feel any discomfort? You never get stressed? Do you never quarrel with anyone? Don’t you sometimes feel wrong, undervalued, envy? Or nobody and nothing can upset you?
We all experience these unpleasant moments. But would you be better off not having to experience such feelings? That’s one of the things you can achieve with personal development.
3. I don’t believe it works
I’ll say it as directly as I can.
The answer to “How to be a better person” is: you have to change your mind.
Is it really possible to be happy?
Perhaps now you think that you do not believe that life could be without problems and discomfort. Always beautiful and to your liking.
No wonder, only a small percentage of people have reached a state of lasting happiness in all areas of life.
We are all struggling with some problems, so it’s hard to imagine a life where we don’t have to worry. I have no better argument for this than that you will have to experience such a state yourself to believe it.
In the meantime, you will have to rely on the promise it is possible, and want to see for yourself.
Is happiness a question of thoughts?
If you do not believe that mind-setting affects the quality of our life and you totally reject it, then, unfortunately, I cannot do anything for you.
There are thousands of people who have realized this and experienced it first, and I am sure that you yourself are also witnessing the consequences of your thoughts in your life, even if you are not aware of it.
Learning to identify one’s own thought patterns and negative programs is the first step towards a happier life and is just a matter of training.
In the next articles, I will explain how the power of thoughts works scientifically, and I will give you a series of life examples, so if you don’t believe, try to stay open to the idea for at least for now and explore it before deciding whether you want to believe it or not.
4. It’s too much work
And what a great result or goal is not?
As I wrote in the article How to be Happy in Life? whatever great is the result of effort, time and work, changing thinking is no exception.
You’ve been building your thinking for decades. Ever since your first thought as a baby, whenever you were thinking in a certain way, the neural connections were strengthened in your brain. Trying to change the way you think, what you believe in and what you consider being right or wrong means literally changing your brain structure. After all, such a process must necessarily require some work and time.
But if you are aware of what change of thinking can bring to your life, you understand that it’s worth it.
If you don’t know why thinking is so important and you’re wondering, I’ll explain it in more detail in the next articles.
5. It’s not my fault
Getting fired, breakups, sickness, debts, quarrels, sometimes we tend to throw our failures at others.
This is a dead-end.
No one has control over your feelings except you. Even if a colleague slanders you at your boss, a friend defames you or your family doesn’t support you in your dreams, it’s up to you how you react.
Do you think that there is no other way to react to such things than in a negative way? Well, that is a wrong presumption.
You’re really the only one who has or should have control over how you feel.
But many of us give up this control and let our surroundings and life situations control their feelings. But giving up your control is again your decision, whether conscious or unconscious. Most of us give up control unconsciously because they do not know how to manage our thoughts and emotions. But all this can be learned.
If you want to learn how to be better, you must always look for the problem in yourself and not in your surroundings.
6. Now I don’t want to, I’ll do it later
One of the most popular games we play with ourselves is postponing. In a more sophisticated word, we call it procrastination.
Why do we postpone something we want to do?
There are several reasons. We lack motivation, we lack the will. Above all, we live in the illusion that we will be here forever.
If you truly realized that you were one second closer to the end of your life right now, maybe you would treat it more wisely.
However, no one feels mortal every minute of the day, and that is why we treat our time so irresponsibly.
Knowing that your time here is limited, how many hours, days, and years do you want to spend in a job that does not enjoy you, does not earn you that stresses and frustrates you?
How much time do you want to spend with a partner who you know is not the right one? How many hours do you want to spend with fake friends who condemn you and never support you in what you really want?
And how many weeks do you want to be upset and worry? Do you really want to spend your whole life in a way you don’t enjoy? And who is responsible for making your life a great life?
Wouldn’t it be better to learn to deal with these feelings as soon as possible and spend most of those days happily and contentedly?
The conclusion of how to be a better person
You may have other excuses for yourself. Whatever your excuses are, the truth is that these excuses are harmful mostly to you. They keep you in the mindset that it is not possible to work on yourself for any reason and it is not in your hands.
Who wants, looks for a way. Who does not want, looks for an excuse.– Jan Werich
You can keep giving yourself excuses to further assert yourself that nothing can be changed. After all, it is your life, and we all have the right to spend it however we decide to.
But you should understand one important fact – without changing your thinking you will never make any fundamental changes in your life. The only reason you don’t have everything you want in your life is that you are not yet capable of having it.
The definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over and expect other results.Albert Einstein
I hope I answered your question about how to be better. You can’t expect your life to change if you stay the same. As long as you think and act as you do, your life will continue to evolve as it does.
The first step to overcoming these excuses is to find a strong motivation to change something. How to do it? That is exactly what the next article is about.