In the last article we looked at the question of what happiness is, and we concluded that although people have more comfort and freedom than ever, they are not happy. In today’s article explain why happiness is a state of mind and how can you use it for your life.
Walt Disney’s quote: “Happiness is a state of mind,” has circled the world so many times that it has already become a cliché.
The danger of clichés, however, is that we repeat it over and over again, without thinking about its significance anymore.
What is the meaning of this cliché?
Happiness is a feeling
In the definition of happiness, we have determined that we feel happy when we have pleasant feelings.
We try to achieve these pleasant feelings by doing things that we enjoy and that are pleasant to one of our senses – taste (food), hearing (music), touch (sex, massage), etc. However, we do not feel happy for a long time.
As I’ve explained in an earlier article, all feelings are merely the result of our thoughts (if you haven’t read, be sure to read it).
So if we want to achieve happiness, we need to stop looking for happiness in the outside world, and instead start to learn how to work with our thoughts and emotions so that most of the time they are comfortable.
Let me repeat it again.
It is necessary to stop looking for happiness in external events and to begin to create it within ourselves through our thoughts and then our feelings.
Let me give you one of the most common examples.
A person who needs love to be happy but has no relationship, of course, feels unhappy.
He/ she tries to improve the situation by looking for a partner. He/ she is looking for a person who will bring him happiness into his life.
Basically, he/ she expects that someone else will give him/her happiness, seeking his happiness outside himself.
There’s not only a very high probability, that he/she will never reach happiness permanently, but it is almost certain that his/her life will go one of the following scenarios:
- will not be able to find a lasting relationship,
- even if he finds a lasting relationship, he won’t feel happy anyway.
Feelings come from within
Why are we looking for something outside we can only find inside?
When you close your eyes and remember the happiest moment of your life, you will feel happy for a moment. When you recall the worst moment of your life, you will feel sad, angry, or unhappy.
You have just experienced both pleasant and unpleasant feelings in a split second without changing the situation in the outside world. This is clear evidence that we experience happiness within ourselves and for reasons that take place within us, not outside.
A feeling is something that one experiences only in oneself.
Yes, outside impulses can evoke certain thoughts in us, which in turn cause certain emotions.
Change your feelings by changing thoughts
E.g. your partner tells you that he loves you. You will be overwhelmed with a pleasant feeling of love and happiness. But the reason why you feel that way is not what your partner said. It’s because you have something like this in your opinion system:
“I love him, my partner told me he loves me -> I’m happy / happy”.
If someone you don’t like told you the same thing, you wouldn’t be so happy about it.
It is not so much about what is happening in the given situation, but how we evaluate it.
Happiness does not come from the outside, but from the inside. And so it is nonsense to try to achieve happiness in the outside world, as most people do.
They are looking for a new / better partner or love, a new / better job, a new / better outfit / cellphone / car / house, and they believe it will make them happy. NO!
The only way to real and lasting happiness is to understand that happiness (pleasant feelings) comes from within. And these pleasant feelings are the consequences of your thoughts. It is not that much about what is happening “out there”, but what your thoughts are inside.
Happiness is a state of mind – verified 🙂
The power of ideas
You can be perfectly happy even in an old car if you tell yourself “this is an amazing car” instead of “it’s an old rusty piece of junk and I have to feel embarrassed when people see me with it.”
You can be perfectly happy with the partner you have if you suddenly see him/her with new eyes. “He’s/she’s the coolest person I know” instead of “he/she doesn’t care, he/she lies to me, and he/she is selfish.”
This is not to say that your partner is impeccable and the fault is only in your thoughts. 🙂
This is a very comprehensive topic that we will focus more on in the future. If you’re wondering how to set up your mind for successful relationships, write me down in the comments or a private message so I know about it. 🙂
Anyway, perhaps now you understand that happiness comes from our thoughts. And the goal is to learn to work with your mind and take control of it again.
Right now your thoughts are working against you
The human mind is most developed on the planet. And it’s very complex. It’s the most amazing tool on the planet, more capable than any computer.
But because of its complexity, it is not possible to learn purely intuitively how to control it. They donť teach us at school (which I think is a fundamental mistake, but even teachers and headmasters do not know how to control their brain, so it is difficult to teach it 🙂 ).
The good news is that you can learn it on your own. You just need to know how to do it – instructions (that’s why I write this blog) and have enough training.
From the logic of the matter – if you could consciously choose whether you would have thoughts and therefore emotions pleasant or unpleasant, what would you choose?
Definitely the pleasant ones, right?
And the only reason you don’t always feel pleasant, but often unpleasant is that you don’t have this process under conscious control.
Your mind is working against you.
Being happy is, therefore, a process where we learn how to work with ourselves – with our own thoughts and emotions.
Happiness is a state of mind so we have to become masters of our minds.
The better we get, the more moments in our lives we feel pleasant and not unpleasant. The more we can work with our thoughts, the better we can use the laws that work in the universe for our own benefit.
The first step to mastering the mind is to break free from passivity and become an active creator of your thoughts. But more about that next time.